Friday, September 09, 2005

The Power of Heart!

And finally, Ma-Ti, with the power of Heart!

So, do you remember Captain Planet? It was this cartoon show back in the 90's that featured Ecological and evironmental concerns as its focus, with a team of kids from around the world who would go on adventures to stop eco-villians from destroying the earth. Each kid had a ring given to them by Gaia, the Earth sprit, and each ring had a specific earth-based power. Then, when the kids would combine thier powers, they could summon the greatest hero of them all, Captain Planet! Captain Planet, he's our hero! Gonna take pollution down to Zero!
There was the power of Fire for the American kid, the power of Wind for the Russian girl, the power of Earth for the African kid, the power of Water for the Asian kid, and the power of Heart for the South American kid. Now, these all make sense, you know? Americans are rash and hot-tempered, so we get Fire.(and maybe we like to burn things, too) Asia has alot of islands and stuff, which means alot of water, so they can get Water. Now Russia, um...it's really flat and stuff, and on the steppes, that wind can really get going, so they can have Wind.(that, and this was the 90's. there was the big rush of hot air in that came rushing out of the USSR after the Wall and the bureaucracy collapsed) Africa's big and has alot of um...earth. So they can get Earth. Besides, it'll make the job easier when they plow my fields and grow my cotton.
And of course South Americans have really big hearts so....no wait, they have the same size hearts as the rest of us. Um....they're a really compassionate people moreso than...no, that's not right either. AHA! The South American kid MUST get the power of heart due to the jungle and the animals! His people are friends of the jungle, so they live in harmony with nature more? But then why doesn't the tribal African kid get Heart? And besides, all of these kids come from urban backgrounds.No, the real reason that Ma-Ti(the south american kid) must get the power of heart is because of South and Central America's heritage, and that heritage's longstanding tradition of, get this, HUMAN SACRIFICE! Yay! The Mayans and the Incans and most especially the Aztecs really took human sacrifice to the next level! Huzzah for celebrating your heritage!

So take a lesson from Captain Planet kids, and celebrate your cultural heritage, no matter how revolti...misunderstood it might be. Yay diversity!

PS: This piece was inspired by this week's VGCats webcomic which can be found here: http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=164. Heart! HEART! Hahahaha, comic genius.

--Episkopos Valimagdon

This article was x-posted from http://www.fuuse.com/

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